Dating a man of lower status
I said I would be unlikely to go again because I have nothing in common to talk about with the men that I have met at these events.
He proceeded to give me a lecture as to why I shouldn’t automatically dismiss dating the two guys who were responsible for service washes in the launderette as they may be perfectly nice people and that career women in their thirties get what they deserve if they don’t.
I am just wondering how many other men think like this?
For me, it seems plain common sense that, while professional women with masters degrees may be compatible with men in less successful professions, the guy that left school with no qualifications to work in the launderette is highly unlikely to be a good fit.
I’ve known plenty of lawyers, doctors, actors, musicians and DJs who have all had miserable dating lives.
What about athletes – everybody remembers how popular the jocks were in high-school and college after all? You see, the second mistake is to assume that value and status are universal – that certain things are a hive-mind.
Value and status are often erroneously distilled into a single attribute.
The most common definitions of high-value or high-status men is in the measure of their material wealth.
The women at a nightclub are going to be far more interested in the club promoters or the DJ or the guys who can get them into the VIP section than Patrick Rothfuss, while Neil Gaiman’s female fans are less likely to squee over Kobe Bryant.
Why he was there, I do not know, as he made it clear that he was not really looking to date anyone.
He did however buy me a drink in the bar afterwards and asked me what I thought of the event.
The short answer is that they have value and status… We’re part of diverse and varied communities, and what marks you as high status in one is going to mean jack in another.
After all, a venture capitalist may be used to being king of all he surveys in the corporate world…