Free online dating flirt
This process of desire flowing from the self to the other before getting reflected back is not just present online. In fact, the experience of pleasure from these technologically-mediated encounters has the same psychological dynamic as the pleasures of sex.
The following quotation from Peter Fonagy appeared in the Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association titled "A Genuinely Developmental Theory of Sexual Enjoyment" and illustrates the point.
OKCupid, the popular and free online dating site, is in the news.
Their dormant research blog “oktrends” has returned with a report from recent experiments conducted on unsuspecting legions logging-in looking for love, or something.
Over the years I have spent lots of time in my psychology practice hearing single patients—as well as the occasional not so single patient—talk about online dating experiences. I’ve even presented at professional conferences on the topic. One finding, and the topic of this post, is that online dating includes pleasures that share a common psychology with the more general experience of sexual enjoyment.
Online flirtation can be more like closing one’s eyes for kiss that never comes than many realize.
Sure, some people really do want to find a special someone so they can get off OKCupid.
But lots of others just want to find someone so they can get off.
She was not aware that the minimal information screen relations provides allowed her to use their responses to confirm her own internally-generated fantasies.And some want to stay on because online is the only place they can get what they want.(Please note that clinical confidentiality has been strictly protected in all the clinical situations I discuss in this and the subsequent online dating post. She soon became captivated by her screen relations.She would invest these men, or rather their online presentation, with all the qualities and feelings she wanted them to have and then experience those qualities as coming from them, not her.Their role was not to get in the way with discordant responses—and if they did, watch out, they might then have to meet in person. She felt their notes and messages were pleasure-filled discoveries.