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He pulled out way too quickly and a flood of crap started pouring out of me while he tried to go and bring his parents (who'd just come home early) upstairs before they could see me pooping all over their bed.

Shania_Twinz There's nothing I love more than showing up all of my same-aged male friends.

Apparently, we used too much lube and our love-making turned into some sort of freaky colonoscopy/sloshy enema colonic. He was almost crying as all that liquid poop washed away from him while I was still cleaning off the mattress as I tried not to throw up.

This forever cured me of my need for anal sex." —Becca, 322.

The first time we tried, however, he arranged himself in an eagerly spread position and I was greeted by a moderate amount of recent shit remnants in and around the opening.

In order to preserve his dignity, and out of a level of paralysis about what to do, I proceeded with the light touch and was left with dirty fingers.

It's so crazy, like, every woman I message writes me back. If you love mature women who love to spend money, give me a shout!

I've gone on so many fancy dates, and the best part is - if they don't like what you're wearing, they buy you something new! Posh_Old_Spice I used to be so hot back in the day. Then I got married, had kids, and my husband left me.

It's not something that most people have a ton of experience doing, so when it does happen there's a lot of, "Um, is this it?

When he tried to put it in, there was so much, um, resistance that he got freaked out and left the room and didn't come back for over an hour.

I just sat there wondering if I should go home." —Kelsey, 244.

There are literally thousands of people on here from my city. I'm still looking for the perfect guy to shower with gifts and sex, but in the mean time I'm enjoying going on cruises, dinners, and vacations with good-looking 20-something-year-olds.

Who knew rich, mature women were in such high demand? Edward_zzz This place is like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory up in here, but instead of oompa-loompas and candy it's all milfs, cougars, and sugar mamas! My husband never had the energy to get it on, so this new way of life I've adopted has been great for my confidence.

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